000 Original Text Comments and Modifications
056 I strongly wish to study in Social Psychology in graduate level and my long-term goal is to be enrolled in a US doctoral program and thereby get fully prepared to be a scholar. More native English sounding. My goal is to study Social Psychology at the graduate level in a US doctoral program in order to become a scholar in the field
057 The reason for which I make up my mind to apply for the master program of X university is to enrich my research experience and reinforce the academic foundation so that I can be not only more competitive but more focused on my research interest in the future. More native English sounding. I am applying to your school because I believe it meets my needs.
058 Psychology called out my name when I was a freshman in senior high. I first became interested in psychology in high school.
059 I took psychology courses whereby I learn some classic psychology researches such as Ebbinghaus’ curve, leading to the regulation of forgetting and Zimbard’s Stanford Prison Experiment, revealing the innate potential to be both good and evil. After,reading about,the Ebbinghaus curve and,the Zimbard Stanford Prison Experiment, I became fascinated by memory, and the,topic good and evil.
060 I quickly became fascinated by Psychology, a branch of science dedicated to explore the mental processes as well as behaviors. Omit as redundant.
061 Thus, 3 years later, I chose to major in applied psychology at **** University, China. HUNNU has one of the top ten psychology departments in China and is one of the Chinese Project 211 universities. I chose applied psychology at **** University. It has one of the top ten psychologydepartments in China and is a Project 211 university NOTE:,The reader may not know what “211 Project’ means. Include a sentence describing it.
081 After that, I played a major part in writing a paper concerning the core part of the findings and published it on the Journal of South China University as the corresponding author. Suggestion:,Was the paper in Chinese? If so, submit it along with an English version of the abstract, introduction and conclusion. The research resulted in an article published in,the Journal of *** Provide full and complete and proper citation.