| 000 |
Original Text |
Comments and Modifications |
| 056 |
I strongly wish to study in Social Psychology in graduate level and my long-term goal is to be enrolled in a US doctoral program and thereby get fully prepared to be a scholar. |
More native English sounding.
My goal is to study Social Psychology at the graduate level in a US doctoral program in order to become a scholar in the field |
| 057 |
The reason for which I make up my mind to apply for the master program of X university is to enrich my research experience and reinforce the academic foundation so that I can be not only more competitive but more focused on my research interest in the future. |
More native English sounding.
I am applying to your school because I believe it meets my needs. |
| 058 |
Psychology called out my name when I was a freshman in senior high. |
I first became interested in psychology in high school. |
| 059 |
I took psychology courses whereby I learn some classic psychology researches such
as Ebbinghaus’ curve, leading to the regulation of forgetting and Zimbard’s
Stanford Prison Experiment, revealing the innate potential to be both good and
evil. |
After,reading about,the Ebbinghaus curve and,the Zimbard Stanford Prison Experiment, I became fascinated by memory, and the,topic good and evil. |
| 060 |
I quickly became fascinated by Psychology, a branch of science dedicated to
explore the mental processes as well as behaviors. |
Omit as redundant. |
| 061 |
Thus, 3 years later, I chose to major in applied psychology at **** University,
China. HUNNU has one of the top ten psychology departments in China and is one
of the Chinese Project 211 universities. |
I chose applied psychology at **** University. It has one of the top ten psychologydepartments in China and is a Project 211 university
NOTE:,The reader may not know what “211 Project’ means. Include a sentence describing it. |
| 081 |
After that, I played a major part in writing a paper concerning the core part of the
findings and published it on the Journal of South China University as the
corresponding author. |
Suggestion:,Was the
paper in Chinese? If so, submit it along with an English version of the
abstract, introduction and conclusion.
The research
resulted in an article published in,the
Journal of ***
Provide full and complete
and proper citation. |
